hold on

You have always been an independent person. You've never needed much help or needed me to hold your hand or comfort you in new situations. You just jump in with both feet.

First day of kindergarten you waved at me and told us you had it "under control". You were four.

This morning was no different. Dropping you off at the high school for the first day of Cross Country practice. So why am I shocked? Why am I left with that melancholy feeling? The same knot in my stomach I got 9 years ago?

I think it's because it is becoming clear to me that my time with you is dwindling. Already you have your friends and your phone and you spend most of your time behind your closed door. I'm trying to hold onto these last few years.

You already talk of cars and college and careers to pursue. And girls. I tell you all the time to "slow down". Don't be in such a rush to grow up. Take your time and hold on. Saturday you'll be 14 and pretty soon you'll be gone.

So, as proud of your independent spirit as I am it still makes me sad. Every time you walk away into a new experience without me I am reminded of how fleeting my time with you is. So Anthony, bear with me... I'm just trying to hold on.