fear

I don't have a lot of fears. Well, not rational ones at least. I'm afraid of clowns and mimes but seriously, who isn't. But today, I'm afraid. Afraid of the unknown.

Over the past 24 years, Eric has stood by me through 7 surgeries, a miscarriage, infertility treatments and a breast cancer scare. He's always been the strong one. Today it's my turn to sit in the waiting room making witty comments. Trying to be the strong one. Fearful of the unknown behind the door.

Keratoconus is a degenerative disorder of the eye in which the structural changes within the cornea cause it to thin and change to a more conical shape than it's normal gradual curve.

I know he's scared, too. Over the last 10 years it's gotten worse. He avoids driving at night. He steps cautiously on stairs, holding onto handrails. The kids and I warn him of curbs and other dangers he may not notice. He's adapted to this world with grace.

He's not ready for a white cane, yet. But the time has come to explore our options. He didn't pass the DMV eye exam. Glasses and contacts make little difference.

On the other side of the door, may lie the answer. The other side of the door may lie hope. The waiting room holds all my fears of the future. We're ready. Together we will get through this. Supporting each other. There for each other... despite our own personal fears.